Contrary to what the title may infer, this has nothing to do with marriage. But I liked this title for what I am writing and since I'm the blog author, I can keep it!
So last night I did it. I asked someone a question with fear and trembling. Ok, not so much trembling, but more the fear of feeling as though I'm encroaching on their time.
I feel as though our culture feels hesitant to ask for help. I learned this especially when I was way down and out with my knee and feeling quite helpless. It is SO dang hard to ask for help! It is humbling and goes against our American "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" mentality of "I can do it all myself".
Returning to last night. I wrote the email. I've been wanting to do it for months. See, two years ago the Lord crazily put me in touch with a group of people here in Dallas that I should never have met, but because I didn't read an email correctly, I showed up late and ended up in a small group I never would have. Thus leading me to a group of other people I would never have met.
And after the study ended, weird connections were made and some really special friendships here in Dallas were birthed.
One of those ladies has become such a dear friend. So dear in fact that she and her family invited me to live with them while I was a disaster with the knee. For four months, I lived in their back apartment and was invited into their family. And my heart sighed with delight.
(View from their back apartment during #projectkneegetbetter)
Since moving back into my own apartment, I've missed the daily interaction and the chats we were able to have. I sensed the Lord pushing me to grow in some areas. And she kept coming to mind. "Just ask her. Ask for her to meet with you. To spend time. Be willing to invest and learn." These words repeated on a never-ending cycle in my mind from the Holy Spirit.
I hesitated. Composing the email dozens of times in my head, I waffled between actually typing it out and then, just maybe hitting send.
The questions and doubts assailed me:
She is so busy and won't have time.
She has a family and I'm taking her away from her roles.
I'm being too selfish in asking for her time.
There are more important things she could be doing.
Why in the world are you even considering this?
What are you going to talk about?
So I told the mental arguments to shut their mouths and last night I whipped out an email. It was not as eloquent as my brain drafts. Partly because I should have known better than to write after 9pm.
And when sent was pressed, you know what? I rested. I felt relief. I did not fear rejection, because I was really ok if she didn't have time. I was at peace knowing the request had been made regardless of the outcome.
And today? I just received a response.
She said yes.